Dear Idiot:
Why won't you just leave me alone? Everywhere I go, you seem to show up. I go to work and you call me nonstop some days. I go to Walmart and there you are. You seem to always pull in front of me no mattter where I am going. Then you miraculously show up behind me, riding my tailgate like it's lap 187 at Talladega. I don't bother you. I have tried to not allow you to take over my mind. Granted, sometimes it seems that I have lost the battle against you and have my moments. My wife will confirm that. But for the most part, I try to avoid you like the plague. Unfortunately, you seem to follow me everywhere I go.
Please do us all a favor and stay home the rest of this week. Don't make any phone calls. Don't go riding around just for fun. Just sit in your living room and only be a nuisance to yourself. Please. I can't take many more days like today.
With kindest regards,
Me
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