Winds of Change

Well, my days at BOPP are winding down.  On June 1, I officially become an Associate Attorney at the Law Office of Shon D. Johnson.  I'm ready to get started, but at the same time scared to death.  I have always had a job where I was guaranteed a salary and could budget based on what I was guaranteed to be paid.  It won't be like this from now on.  I am getting a small salary and then a percentage of the work I do for the firm, but it's not the same.  I can only trust that this is what I'm supposed to be doing and that it will all work out and we'll be fine.

Whitney dislocated her knee this past weekend while we were in Louisville.  She simply took a step and her knee popped out of it's socket.  You could see the pain and torment on her face and I felt completely helpless sitting there with her.  All I could tell her was that it was going to be okay once we got her to the hospital, but I know that was no comfort at all.  She saw the doctor on Tuesday about it and he told her that she basically has a genetic deformity that makes it easy for this to happen to her again.  They put a brace on it but she is terrified that it is going to happen again. 

Summer break has started here.  The kids are enjoying it I guess.  We went swimming today for about an hour and a half at Uncle James' house.  It's nice to have relatives that will let you use their stuff whenever you want; especially when that stuff is a swimming pool.  The Veazey's have one too so we'll be making numerous trips to both this summer. 

I guess that's all for now.  Later.

Every Day I'm Shufflin'...

So once again I am stealing an idea from my good friend Daniel Ross and am putting my iPhone on shuffle to see what comes up.  Then, I'll share with you.  Here we go.

1.  "I Need Thee" by Alabama.  One of my favorite hymns of all time.  It's simple, yet powerful and honest.

2.  "Faithfully" by Journey.  Really, who doesn't love this??

3.  "If You're Gonna Play in Texas.." by Alabama.  Our second Alabama song in 3 selections.  My parents probably hate any Alabama song that is on the Roll On tape because me and my brother would literally let them listen to nothing else when we went anywhere.  Ask my mom about the trip to Texas one summer.

4.  "I'm Free From the Chain Gang" by Johnny Cash.  He is music.  Plain and simple.  Done in his later years when his death was imminent, this song is heartfelt.

5.  "Prodigal Son's Prayer" by Dierks Bentley.  Sorry there is no good video for this one, but I love this song.  If you have never heard it, check it out.

Frustration

When my wife called me on April 13, overjoyed and in tears, I thought that things were finally going to be different.  No more late nights for her.  No more having to watch the bank account to make sure we didn't overdraft.  Nice vacations.  We could buy or even better, build, our own house.

That was a month ago.  So far, nothing has changed.  Well, that's not true.  I have now spent even more hundreds of dollars getting licensed and joining various organizations that are essential for young lawyers to join.  So I am worse off now than I was a month ago. 

I have talked to 6 or 7 different people about jobs but so far nothing has panned out.  Whit and I were watching the news the other night and they were talking about how all of these School of Pharmacy graduates were not able to find work.  I can understand their frustration.  I would have never thought that after 4 years of law school and passing the bar the first time out that a month later I'd still be "unemployed" as a lawyer. 

I don't know if this is God's way of teaching me patience or what, but I hope soon He decides to teach me a lesson in starting a new job. 

Making Memories

As I said in an earlier post, I had a good lunch yesterday with some old friends.  One of them stated that he had started a journal for his children and was trying to decide when the appropriate time to give it to them would be.  He had decided that when they have children of their own is best.  That way they will appreciate the journal even more.  Hopefully, it will help them understand what was going on "behind the scenes" at the time and what was going through mom and dad's minds when they made some decisions or something happened.

I liked the idea so much that I went to Walmart tonight and bought 3 journals for my kids.  I'm not going to write in them every day, but hopefully will put something in them every month or so and anytime there is a significant event in their life.  Why not do it online?  I think it would have more meaning when they get older if they can read it in my handwriting.  It would be as if I was right there with them telling them the story instead of them reading it.  It will be interesting to see how many of them I fill up for each child.  But I look forward to writing in them and then going back myself to look and see what was going on at that point in their lives. 

I hope they will appreciate it some day.

Why Do You Keep Doing That?

I had the great privilege today of eating lunch with a couple of old friends.  We talked about everything from work to faith to movies.  One of the most interesting conversations we had was about our children.

As parents, we have all been there.  Our children keep doing the same things that get them in trouble.  Each of mine have their own quirks.  With Cade, we have to tell him about 10 times to do something.  Kenna throws temper tantrums and Case has complete meltdowns when it's time to turn off the Wii or PS3.  Chad was telling us that his son, age 5, continues to do the same things to get in trouble.  When Chad ask him why he continues to do that, his answer is straight forward and brutally honest:  Because I wanted to.  We have the same conversations with our kids.  "Why do you continue to do the same things time and time again knowing that there will be negative consequences for your actions?"  We want to sometimes just take them by the shoulders and shake them to get them to understand that we are tired of always getting on to them for the same things.

In the midst of that conversation at lunch today, Chad brought up a point that has stuck with me all day:  Surely God feels the same towards us.  There are times that He must want to grab me by the shoulders and shake me while asking, "Why do you keep doing that?"  And the answer is as simple as a child's.  Because I want to.  I put earthly things above heavenly things.  I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over.  I don't seek Him like I ought to.  I continue to do things my way and those ways are the wrong ways.

I love my children and I only want what's best for them.  That's why it is frustrating when I try to guide their path, but they continue to do things their way.  Their way of doing things often isn't the way I envisioned them doing it.  They don't follow the instructions that I've given them.  Sometimes they do and everything goes great. But sometimes they don't and there are consequences.

Sounds familiar, huh?

Fried Fish and Bribes

Well, it's Fish Fry week.  Whitney and I took the kids to the carnival last night and had a good time.  I bribed them with the promise to go back tomorrow night if they helped get the house clean.  Needless to say, it's as close to spotless as the 4 of us can get it.  I've lived in Paris for 24 years of the 32 years I've been on this planet and I have NEVER been to the fish tent.  I guess I should do that at some point but the thing is, I don't care for catfish.  Oh well.

Dad and I went fishing today but it turned out like many of our other fishing trips.  We unloaded the boat and then found out that something in the throttle mechanism was broken.  At first, we couldn't get it to go in gear at all and then when it did finally go into gear, it was stuck wide open.  So we just trolled around the marina.  Dad caught one and I had one hooked that got off before I got it to the boat.  It was fun just hanging out even though nothing else went right.  We couldn't even give away our minnows after we were done fishing, so dad just poured them out when we got home.  Next time, I'm treating him to 18 holes of golf.

I've been talking to an attorney in town about going to work with him in his office in Paris.  I'm hoping it is going to work out.   I'm never gonna learn anything sitting behind my desk at my current office.  I'm ready for something new and this is a great opportunity for me if all the pieces fall into place. 

I guess that's all.

Jesus Messiah--by Chris Tomlin

Music is Chris Tomlin with movie shots from The Passion of the Christ. 

Much Ado about Nothing

--I started this blog back up thinking that I would write as much on it as I used to.  However, with the world of social media we have today (Twitter, Facebook, etc), there's not much that I have to say here that I don't say there.  I've kind of lost my zeal for politics recently simply because I have come to the conclusion that no matter what party they claim to represent, they are all just looking out for themselves in the long run.

--I've been job searching some this week but haven't had anything come up yet.  I have several prospects though that I'm hoping will work out.  If not, when I get my license and get sworn in, I'll take appointments out of juvenile court and try to do that and keep my job I've got right now.  Not sure how the State of Tennessee will feel about that but I honestly don't care.  If they don't like it, I know where the door is and am more than ready and willing to walk out of it at this point.

--As happy as I was to pass the bar, I think I am equally upset that several of my friends didn't.  But they will eventually, probably in July.  I'm hoping for them to anyway.

--I've been studying 4 years to be a lawyer and the truth of the matter is this:  The thought of actually getting to be a lawyer scares me to death.  That's part of the reason I don't want to just start out on my own.  Law school does a decent job of teaching you the law, but it does a horrible job of teaching you HOW to be a lawyer.  I know enough about how the criminal courts work to get by doing that, but I am as lost as can be when it comes to civil, juvenile and chancery court.  The only relief I have is that I talked to someone the other day who has been practicing for 4 years and he said he still feels like he doesn't have a clue as to what's going on.  And he has the reputation of being a good lawyer.

--My wife just got home from job #2.

--Tonight, my 10 year old informed me that the real words to to "Young and Wild and Free" aren't "So what we get drunk, so what we don't sleep.." but instead are "So what we get  drunk, so what we smoke weed..."  How did he know that and I didn't?  Thanks, I guess, goes to Youtube.  That's crazy to me though.

--Caser LOVES him some Star Wars.  Whether it's movies, video games, books or toys, if it's Star Wars, he's all about it.  Reminds me of Cade when he was little.  And he's the coolest little Star Wars nerd you'll ever meet. 

--I don't think someone can ever really learn what love is unless they have kids.  That may sound kind of harsh and maybe there's a better way to say it but it's too late and I'm too tired to come up with a way right now.  All I mean is that I love my kids more and more everyday.  When I think there is no way possible to love them any more, I wake up to a new day and it's like my heart has doubled in size to make room for the love I have for them.  And this happens every day.  It's like that too for my wife, but kids are different.  I guess I just can't explain it.

--I'm tired and think I'll go to bed.  Goodnight.

Sacrifices

I found out on Friday morning that I had passed the bar exam.  My wife called me crying and screaming like a mad person on Friday at 11:30 A.M. to tell me that my name was on the successful list.  I was elated and in shock at the same time and I still don't think it has set in yet.  It is an end to a long hard road that I have traveled.  But it's not just been me.  Many folks have traveled this road with me and I'm going to take this time to thank them.

My wife.  Where would I be without her?  Definitely not where I am today.  She has sacrificed so much in the past 4 years to hold our family together.  Especially after our move back to Paris.  She has worked 2 jobs, often working over 80 hours a week, to put food on our table.  More than that, she has lived the lifestyle of a single parent for alot of that due to the fact that I spent 3 nights a week in Nashville.  You try working until 8 or 9, then getting home and cooking supper for your 3 kids, getting them baths and then getting them in bed.  I couldn't do, that's for sure.  But she did it night after night.  Carol has also been a tremendous help during that time.  On the nights Whitney knew she would be working until after 10, Carol was the one who took care of the kids.  I look forward to the day, in the VERY near future, that Whitney can quit her second job completely.  She deserves that and I feel I owe that to her for everything she has done while I was in school.  This paragraph doesn't do her justice, I know.  Words can't describe how vital she has been in this whole process.  Just know that it hasn't gone unnoticed. 

My family.  When I got my Acceptance Letter back in 2008, I was happy, but wondered how I was going to pay for it.  I called my mom to tell her that I had been accepted and she told me that everything would be taken care of.  And it was.  My grandmother paid for my tuition and books the first year.  Mom and Dad paid for my second year and Jeff paid for my third.  Whitney and I were able to cover my last year and bar expenses.  I wouldn't have a degree today without my family because I would not have been able to afford it.  I will pay them back some day. 

My coworkers.  My third year, Moot Court started and I had to be in Nashville 3 nights a week.  My fourth year, all of the electives that I needed to graduate in December were offered at 4:45 P.M., meaning that I would have to leave Paris around 2:15 P.M. to get there in time for class.  I was fortunate to have a boss who was understanding and allowed me to work a modified schedule in order to make it all work.  Also, there were afternoons where my coworkers had to see people who were in our office to see me.  They could have easily said no to all of it and then I'd have been in trouble. 

My church family.  The people at Maplewood Baptist Church are some of the finest people that I know.  The weeks leading up to the bar exam, they were all so encouraging.  On the day of the test, at 9:00 A.M. (the time the test started), I know that there were a multitude of them praying for me and others to have wisdom and understanding during the test.  I believe in the power of prayer and I believe whole-heartedly that those people praying for me at that time was a major factor in the reason that I passed.  If you are looking for a church home, you should come to Maplewood.  They truly have a love for Christ and a love for people.  It shows everytime you walk through the doors.

There are numerous others that deserve to be on here and if you're not, I'm sorry and hope you are not offended.  From the numerous attorneys who offered words of encouragement and advice to my teachers to Mike Creasy, who was my ride for the past 2 years, and on and on, let me simply say....

Thank you!  I wouldn't be here today without you.

The Great Protector

This post is more of a warning than anything.  My kids are my world.  I would do anything, and I do mean anything, to protect them.  You should feel the same way about your kids.

When they are hurting, I hurt.  Physically or emotionally.  Today was a hard day for them.  It's just drama really, but at the same time, it's the kind of drama that made me want to leave work early to come home and make everything alright.  Part of my problem though is that while I mean well, my lack of censorship or tact about certain things just leads to more trouble.  That didn't happen today thank goodness but I refuse to just by while my kids have bad days.



I see folks day in and day out who couldn't care less about their kids.  They try to get rid of them every chance they get.  They do things to intentionally put them in harms way.  It baffles me and frustrates me to no end.  I can't think of much worse in this world than a parent who cares nothing about their children.  But those folks are out there unfortunately. 

My kids are my world.  I'm a better man because of them and they are the main reason I do most of the stuff I do.  I want more for them than I ever had myself.  I know that they'll have bad days.  But I also know that on those bad days, I will be there with strong arms to squeeze them until everything is okay and a delicate hand to wipe away any tears before they can reach their cheeks. 

Do the same for your kids.

Running Wide Open

I meant to write something on here every day but that didn't happen.  Oh well.

I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth cut out on Friday.  It honestly wasn't as bad as I had told myself it was going to be.  Which might explain why it hasn't been that bad; know what I mean?  I set myself up to be writhing in pain for 3 or 4 days, but that hasn't been the case.  But I did overdo it today.  It was the first day that I have sat upright most of the day since Thursday and I can feel it in my jaws!  The 1-inch steaks I grilled for supper probably don't help matters but when a man is craving a steak, well, nothing but a steak will do.

Bar results are in less than 2 weeks.  I'm honestly not expecting to pass it but I hoping beyond hope that I did simply because I don't know that I ever will if I didn't this time.  That sounds disheartening but it's the truth.  I studied and studied and can't imagine that the next time around I'd study any more than I did this time.  So if I didn't pass, I don't know what I'll do. 

I was proud to see the Jaycees name the 2011 Henry County Patriots as Grand Marshals for the Fish Fry Parade.  Kenna is excited.

Kentucky will win the National Championship tonight.

I've debated writing something about the Trayvon Martin situation, but that's a lose-lose.  All I'll say is that no matter what side of that fence you are on, it is a tragic, tragic situation,

Time to take my Percocet.  Good night.

An Open Letter to Idiot

Dear Idiot:

Why won't you just leave me alone?  Everywhere I go, you seem to show up.  I go to work and you call me nonstop some days.  I go to Walmart and there you are.  You seem to always pull in front of me no mattter where I am going.  Then you miraculously show up behind me, riding my tailgate like it's lap 187 at Talladega.  I don't bother you.  I have tried to not allow you to take over my mind.  Granted, sometimes it seems that I have lost the battle against you and have my moments.  My wife will confirm that.  But for the most part, I try to avoid you like the plague.  Unfortunately, you seem to follow me everywhere I go.

Please do us all a favor and stay home the rest of this week.  Don't make any phone calls.  Don't go riding around just for fun.  Just sit in your living room and only be a nuisance to yourself.  Please.  I can't take many more days like today.

With kindest regards,

Me

An Oldie but Goodie

Yeah, I changed the name back to the original.

Deal with it.

Heroes and Zeros

I think it was Charles Barkley, after getting caught doing who knows what, that said he wasn't trying to be a role model for kids.  Cade is Troy Polamalu fan and likes Will Ferrell.  Kenna absolutely loves her Henry County Patriots and Taylor Swift.  Case is in a Star Wars phase right now.  They all have different people that they look up to or want to be like when they grow up.  You know who I want their role model to be more than anyone?  Me.

I hope one of these days when they are adults they all look back and think that I was their best role model growing up.  I say when they are adults because I honestly believe that if your kids don't hate you when they are teenagers then you aren't doing a very good job as a parent.  Okay, maybe that's a bit much, but admit it, there is some truth to it.  Regardless, one of these days I hope they look back and realize that everything I did was because of or for them.  I hope at some point when they are sitting there holding their kids for the first time that a thought that goes through their mind is, "I hope I'm as good mom/dad as my mom and dad were." 

It's inevitable that my children are going to have athletes and celebrities that they look up to.  But those people will disappoint my children numerous times.  So will I though.  The difference is that I get the chance on a daily basis to redeem myself.  I'm not perfect.  But I ought to be the biggest role model that my kids have.  I should teach my sons how to be a good husband and father.  I should teach my daughter that she deserves a Godly man in her life and show her how her husband should treat her by being a Godly husband to my wife.  I should have time for them no matter how tired I am or how busy my day has been. 

If anyone ever ask them, "Who do you look up to?", I hope I'm one of the first people they think of.  If I'm not, then I have failed as a father.

The Electronic Babysitter

Case, Kenna and I all had dentist appointments yesterday.  All went well and there were no cavities which is always a good thing.  Kenna was in a different room and Case and I shared a room.  He went first and got a cleaning and then it was my turn.  When he was done, the hygenist told him that there were toys in the floor he could play with if he liked.   He didn't need any though because he had something better than any toy; he had Cade's iPad.

The hygenist was amazed at how proficient he was at using it and we started discussing how we would have never dreamed of something like that to "play" with, much less at 3 years old.  Case is always playing on either the iPad, the Wii, his PS3 or one of our iPhones when he is at the house.  We do make it a point to make him go outside and play when the weather is pretty though.  Which brings me to the point of this post:  Too many parents use electronic devises as babysitters these days and it's one of the main reasons that many kids don't know how to interact with others.

I'm not saying that we are the world's best parents or anything like that, but we try to make it a point for our kids to do stuff outside of our house.  We all go to church on Sundays and usually Wednesday.  Cade and Kenna have school for peer interaction and Granny takes Case to Story Hour every Thursday.  Kenna and Case both are in gymnastics and Cade plays football and basketball.  Then there are the neighborhood kids that they play with on a daily basis.

My point is this:  It'd be really easy for us to just let them all sit inside all day with a gadget of some kind in their hand but what good is that doing them?  Kids need to be around other kids.  If they're not, they never learn how to be kids.  Sure it would be a lot easier and we wouldn't have to worry about where they are what they're doing, but we would be creating a culture full of people who don't know how to have fun and just use their imagination and play.

To me, that's a scary thought.  Sure there were Nintendos and Segas on Peaceful Meadows Lane.  But there was also a Little League regulation size baseball field that doubled as a football field and a basketball goal at every house.  There were 4-wheeler trails and bike paths that were regularly ridden on.  There was an shed that we pretended was everything from a bicycle shop to our local hangout.  I bet your neighborhood was about the same way.  The only time we were every inside was when it was raining or when it was 100 degrees outside.  Electronics were a last resort for us (except for 1 time, but I won't mention that Quincy!  LOL). 

I've rambled more than I meant to....My point was this.  It would be really easy for Whit and I to just let our kids sit in front of a TV or an iPad or whatever.  But I want better than that for my kids.  I want for them everything and more than I had as a kid.  That includes imagination.

Tuesday Night Ramblings

So I've been gone for some time.  I decided with all the social media in this world, everyone who I wanted to know what was going on with me would know through that.  But part of me misses being able to sit down and just start typing whatever I wanted without character limits and whatnot so I started a new blog. 

What's been going on?  Lots here.  I finished law school FINALLY!  I was 11th in my class overall so I'll take that.  Although to be honest, I was a little disappointed when the top 8 in our class were recognized as being the top 10% and then I found out I only missed that by 3 people.  Oh well.  I took the bar on February 28-29 and now I am waiting on the results.  Not too long ago I had a dream that I had passed it and thought that was God's way of setting my mind at ease about the whole process and letting me know that all is well.  Then last week, I dreamt I failed it.  So much for that theory.  Regardless, I am at peace with it no matter what.  If I have to retake it, fine.  But I hope I don't.  Not so much for me, but for Whitney.

She has been working 2 jobs since we moved back to Paris to makes ends meet and keep a roof over our heads and food on our table.  She is extremely tired.  She hates working 2 jobs, but does it because she knows that at this time, that's what it takes.  But I hope more than anything that when the successful list is published on April 13 that my name is on there so she can quit her second job.  That will be the greatest thing that comes from all of this.

That's all for now.  Later.

Try Again

So did you miss me??  I didn't think so.  But regardless, I'm back.
Let me lay down some ground rules first.  This is my blog and I'll share my thoughts and ideas about anything that crosses my mind.  If you don't like it, fine.  Start your own blog and say what an idiot I am.  Or leave me a comment telling me what an idiot I am.  But there will be no profanity allowed on my blog.  Any comments that have profanity or vulgar language will be deleted immediately.  Repeating offenders will be blocked from viewing.  Okay??

It's good to be back.